Last night’s “speed work”/ track night could be chalked up to a fail. Usually, I enjoy taking out my emotions on the track. In fact, during my freshman year of college, my roommate would on occasion look for me at the track before going grocery shopping. And she often found me just crying, as I was walking back to the dorm. I’ve always found an emotional release valve from pushing my body to its physical extreme.
I was looking forward to last night’s track workout. But somehow, my body just wasn’t going as fast as I wanted. And I even felt self-conscious and ashamed of how slow I was, and how hard that slow pace felt. I know- everyone has one of those days. And I realize my training program has lacked speed workouts, as I am putting on more and more mileage each week. But still! It felt sooo hard. There were times I was struggling just to keep running. My legs just wouldn’t respond like they normally do.
But I got no emotional release last night. In fact, I basically got in my car, took off my disgusting shirt. No, honestly, as we were walking from the track to the car, I remember thinking “god, these boys are stinky. That van is going to be disgusting.” Then, I got in my car (windows still rolled up), and realized “ugh. that smell is ME” I out-smelled grown men doing track workouts with me. That’s gross. And the pity party began.
And now my left knee hurts (the track is funky shapes and we went left, so it takes a toll on the left side of my body). And so after work today, I am planning a run where it “all began”… Starting at a lake where I first ran 4 miles, continuously. Where I later ran 8 miles (run/walk… whatever). I’m hoping a new route with an old feel will spark some inspiration and motivation for running.
Four weeks to Tuna (HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN SO FAST?!)
And 7 weeks to Richmond (<—scarier! First Marathon!)